The void between Singles Awareness Day and Random Acts of Kindness Day is upon us... what a time to be alive! go ahead and treat yourself or a fellow lonely loser to some of the best random and sweet surprises that booze-fueled spending can offer!

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credit: Amazon
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Coin Eating Face Savings Bank

We've got ourselves a double-whammy right here, folks! You can do someone else the wonderful deed of helping them save some skrilla while treating yourself to the memory of their reaction. This thing is actual nightmare fuel but that shouldn't scare anyone from spending hours upon hours feeding it and going back and forth between laughing hysterically and fearing for your life while it chomps away.


 

credit: Amazon
credit: Amazon
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The Hungover Cookbook

The act of kindness that keeps on giving! Treat yourself and your closest fun friends to something truly special when you wake up feeling like garbage. This handy cookbook helps you identify your hangover (are you more of a “Sewing Machine” or a “Gremlin Boogie”? You’ll never know unless you arm yourself with this information) prior to treating it with foodstuffs you probably already have on-hand. Pair it with a copy of Tequila Mockingbird and everyone will be back to feeling fine in no time.


credit: Amazon
credit: Amazon
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Five Fabulous Pounds of Gummy Worms

Now's your chance to eat the worm (or, actually enjoy eating the worm if you were the maniac that ate the worm the night before). Let's be real here: few things are more random or kind than 5lbs of delicious, fruity, tangy gummy candy. Go big with this five-pounder and prepare to drown some sudsy sorrows with the reckless abandon of a tapeworm gone wild.


 

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credit: Amazon
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Butt Face Soap

“Westminster Butt Face” sounds like a really fancy dog breed and, I gotta tell you, that’s exactly what pulled me in here. Then, my brain immediately thought this unique item was intended as an insult before I realized it was just referencing reserved sides for body parts. If there is anything nicer than telling someone, "I like you so much that no butt should ever touch your face" I am dying to know what this is.


 

credit: Amazon
credit: Amazon
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Creative Cursing Profanity Generator

I was lucky enough to be raised to both spend money, drink and swear like a sailor - the glorious trifecta of the high seas. As such, I am so inclined to give someone the gift of some really impressive insults. Just when you thought you had run out of creative curse word combinations, Creative Cursing swoops in and restores your faith in expletives.

**Sobering side note: pairs wonderfully with the Butt Face soap. Boom. Roasted**

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