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Summertime... and the drinking and buying is easy! My liver and I spent some good time surfing the web to bring you some of the coolest, most likely to "purchase while tipsy" items out there right now. I've got to admit, Amazon Prime is one of the most amazing things to ever happen to epic drunk purchases and if you don't already have a Prime account you can try it out free for 30-days here. You can thank me later by reporting back with your findings. Cheers!

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Floaty Pants Hands-Free Party Floatation Device

Move over, upside down life jacket, there's a new floatation king in town! Floaty Pants (I dare you to not giggle every time you say or hear that name) is the ingenious hands-free flotation device that frees up your drinking mitts so you can lean back and bob without putting your favorite beverage down. Do you tend to imbibe a bit too much? Pair these Floaty Pants with a giant, sturdy bald eagle float and prepare for smooth sailing.


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I Pee in Pools Adult Trucker Hat

Ah. The pool-pee-er. No one likes that guy, but everyone can appreciate some honesty. Whether you're irresponsible or buzzed enough to actually pee in pools (also worth noting: this hat does size down to fit wee little kids) or you're just looking to freak everyone out a little bit, this trucker hat is the one for you.


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Bug-A-Salt 2.0

One of my absolute favorite things to do is enjoy a libation or six in a lawn chair. Go ahead and judge me, I'm far from ashamed because it brings me so much joy. Know what doesn't bring me joy? Being covered in flies while enjoying said libation. Thanks to this table salt powered insect eradication device, my lawn chair drinking is now fly free and a billion times more enjoyable. Don't forget to add in a Bug-Beam for some added one-eye accuracy.


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Giant Pizza Beach Blanket

Way cooler than any beach blanket Frankie and Annette ever brought around, this FIVE FOOT WIDE PIZZA BLANKET is worth yelling about. The question isn't "who needs this" but "who doesn't need this" kind of magic in their beach arsenal? It's a microfiber pizza so it dries you off real nice and then lulls you to sleep with its super cozy softness. It could even be used as a bedspread during the off-season (which may or may not be exactly why I bought it).


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Women's Taco Cat One Piece Swimsuit

Gonna be real honest with you guys here: I had to eenie-meenie-miney-mo this particular design because there are so many hilarious options available for this one-piece including Hairy Chest, Cat Riding Shark, Flag and Bald Eagle, Rainbow Unicorn and a bunch more. No matter what option you go for you're guaranteed to be the life of not just THE party but of ALL the parties.


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Hoyle Waterproof Clear Playing Cards

Finally, a deck of cards impervious to water, humidity, and the occasional alcohol spill. Want to play Kings Cup or Bus Driver in the pool or on the lake? Now you can! This deck is 100% unique, waterproof, flexible, and easy to shuffle but they are a bit slippery by nature so keep that in mind. 52 Pickup, anyone? We can make it a drinking game!