How to Make the Most of Food Poisoning
Yet another E. Coli outbreak graced the country earlier this week resulting in over 80 tons of precious ground beef being pulled from supermarket shelves. Egads! Anyone that has suffered through E. Coli or some other run-of-the-mill food poisoning knows that it's no laughing matter but that doesn't mean you can't have any fun while you're locked in the bathroom for 24-48 hours.
Talking Toilet Paper Spindle
First things first: it gets lonely in there while you're giving it your all but this talking TP spindle is here to keep you company. Whether you have a loved one record some words of encouragement or opt to record your struggle in real time (as a future surprise for someone else) this little spindle is a great addition to any lavatory. You can only record up to six-seconds of sound, though, so make it count!
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2t2a6W7
Wu-Tang 3-Piece Bathroom Set
From the slums of Shaolin, Wu-Tang Clan strikes again! This three-piece bathroom set includes everything you need including an endless appreciation for one of the most influential rap groups ever. All three mats come with anti-slip protection so you don't have to worry about going down while your standing in the bathroom woozy from dehydration frantically wondering if it's going to be "heads or tails" on the next go-round.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2VoDPrY
Potty Fisher Toilet Game
Might as well acquire a skill while you're in there, bub, and this toilet fishing set is just the thing to help you catch a big one. Shoot, even if nothing but the "Do Not Disturb" sign proves itself useful on your big journey you're still getting your money's worth. Already a master caster? Work on your putting game instead. Talk about multi-tasking!
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2XHUILW
Stephen, Frog Soap
Meet Stephen. He's frog soap. Stephen isn't just any old soap, though. He's fancy all-natural soap with shea butter, bergamot, lime, and grapefruit essential oils to help you wash it all away. Stephen even has some coffee thrown in there to help scrub it all away if that's what you need after a bout of the cha-cha-chas.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2MKPHOh
The Sushi Bazooka
Ok, so, this last one doesn't really fit in as you should never EVER be rolling sushi in a bathroom. EVER. Especially while wrestling with some gut funk. But! It kind of does fit as this revolutionary little tool is more of a sushi pooper than a bazooka and delivers the perfect sized snack of easily-digested rice and other bland foods of your choice as soon as you're out of the bathroom and feeling like yourself again.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2XHRyI4
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