Ten Totally Bizarre Things You Never Knew You Needed… Until Now
As Amazon Associates, we earn on qualifying purchases.
We've all done it (or know someone who has at the very least): imbibed a bit too much and ended up with an awesome, albeit unusual, surprise Amazon package a few days later with zero memory of having ordered anything. Let's take the guesswork out of your next sudsy purchase with this roundup of bizarre but functional items you probably never knew you needed... until now.
How embarrassing. For decades I just assumed that Gummi Bears were made up of sugar, magic, and Gummiberry juice. Turns out I was way off so I decided to better acquaint myself with their anatomy via this in-depth 41-piece kit. Look out, world! Once I have the Gummi Bear down I'm moving on to the Balloon Dog version.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2t5AC0A
Waaaaah! I'm a full-grown adult and I'm throwing a fit but I really don't feel like I'm getting my point across the way everyone should be hearing it. Until now! This deliciously terrifying full head latex mask guarantees that you will grab everyone's full attention while delivering your most recent sob story.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2Z3JOFo
Hold the phone. It's a corgi holding a trident riding a hammerhead shark! Friends, it doesn't get any more majestic than this brave little aqua dog right here. Not feeling it (weirdo)? Maybe this Sloth on a Penny Farthing is more your speed. Or perhaps this Camp Kitty Lake Cat tickles your fancy.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2TtTmme
Is twerking still a thing? Who cares because even if it isn't this googly eyes twerk belt is bringing it back and dropping it like it's hot. Simply strap it on, shake what your mama gave ya' and brag all about how those eyes tell NO lies. My favorite part is the wonderful tell-tale googly eye sound that it makes when it shakes which will only help you to be taken even more seriously.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/324BN07
Gone are the days of having to pay to consult a psychic or trade your most beloved tchotchkes to a gypsy for a glimpse into the future. These fortune-telling fish are now the only oracles you will ever need. Simply ask your question, place the fish in your hand and cross-check the fish's movements with the key on the envelope. It's science.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2KXNwGE
I don't know about you guys but the inside of my refrigerator could absolutely use a touch of adorable elegance. And, since it's generally frowned upon to keep a live penguin inside your icebox, Chill Bill is just the man for the job. Just feed him a little baking soda every now and then and he'll eat up odors faster than you can say "happy feet."
Buy It: https://amzn.to/31NIROi
This truly unique shower curtain is sure to jazz up your commode and, oh my gosh, where do we even start? How about the precious, squishy pug face protected by a space helmet? Or maybe we should discuss those suspect laser beams coming from his posterior? And what about his little feet? He thinks he's swimming but he's in outer space!
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2Z9hRvG
How many times have you struggled through a "is this my beer or is this your beer?" situation while imbibing with friends? How many times have you been surprised by the dreaded and angry "hiding-here-inside-your-soda-bee" after leaving your drink outside and unattended for a minute? Well, Beverage Barricade is here to solve those problems, and a slew of others, once and for all.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2HVY2iE
Not only is this hilarious in and of itself but it is also 100% practical. Specially formulated for chicks who hate chafing (read: all women everywhere, ever) this talc-free anti-friction powder absorbs sweat and provides cooling, effective relief of irritation from rubbing. There's also a men's version so everyone can stay monkey butt free forever.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2Z8HLzG
You wake up in the middle of the night and need to use the facilities. You're a little out of sorts and definitely still sleepy as you lumber toward the loo but you make it, flip on the light, and WHAM! You are blind! And confused! And a little bit angry! If this scenario strikes you as all too familiar this motion sensor toilet light is your ticket to taking back your sanity when nature calls in the wee hours.
Buy It: https://amzn.to/2Z9xzan